"Career" - Not sure what it is...

Yes, I am back after long time. I was just engaged with daily activities with my job and uni. Ofcourse, last few weeks been a 9-6 life. I am not done with my uni yet. I have got assignments to submit in coming weeks. But its okey, I am not much worried about them. But I had rejection for summer internship in Canon this week. Its very normal to have rejection in any application. But with Canon, I had too much hope for this internship. I expected that to be as a good starting point for what I say 'I want to do'. I was not happy about it. The reason is, there is not much job opportunities in Australia for such jobs. I think I should rephrase this as, there are not many companies who do some design and development work here which is of my interest. Sometimes, I feel that I have to move into the academics and research field to do some design and development work. I am saying 'design and development', though 'research and development' would be better to use. But I think, 'design' includes 'research' for anything you want to design and develop. And that's why my interest is in 'design and development'.

Now, thinking of my career, to move ahead in 'design and development', I need to get into research in some university here for PhD or Master by research program. I have no plans to do PhD so far. But on a second thought, my heart asks me to consider that also as an option. But then comes the problem of area of interest for research. I don't have a particular passionate interest in ONLY one particular field. Though interesting areas for me includes, Computer Vision & Image Processing, AI, Data Mining, High Performance Computing and upto certain extent Mathematics.Yeah, if you are really into any of these areas, you'll think that I am into some fairy world. Because, after 4 years of bachelor study, I had just idea of what all these are. After my study at Uni Melb, I had better understanding of all these. But at the end, not really an expert in any of these. I have to study and explorer lot many things in these areas.

By the time, my study at Uni Ballarat, I have much better experience in Software Development. Yes, rather than understanding it is experience in Software Development. Having JAVA as my development technology, I have practised Software Engineering methodologies including XP. Now, I also know J2EE as I am developing HelpDesk Software for my Uni's Helpdesk department where I work. I wouldn't say I am now really a big expert into it. But I am good enough to make work things for me.

Anyway, my point is, if I look at my self in terms of skills and experience, I have much better skills and experience in Software Development area. Well, Software Development as in general application development rather than engineering application development. I am also earning experience as HelpDesk person and as Test Analyst. But that's not what I want to do. I have very little knowledge of what I want to do.

The thought comes into my mind, if I have very little knowledge of what I want to do, I have to learn those things, practise those as in sample applications & solutions. But what if I am wrong about this. What if I am really right about this. I don't dislike Software development, infact I enjoy it. But I want to go ahead in engineering application development. But for that, I need to put huge effort with time to master the things. But then now time is coming such that I have to look for jobs and stuff. Now, for that I have to focus on Software Development as I have more experience in it compare to the fields that I have talked about.

I am unable to take decision on where I want to go. What I want to do? How should I go ahead? I think just thinking won't help here. Let me just stop thinking about it. Best is just to do best in what you have to do now rather than living the dreams forever.

You know what, I really need to work on writing. Its not very good, I guess.